Derik Badman's Journal

Content Tagged "Dreams"

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2019-12-28 16:51

Dream: An old store with a leaking ceiling (I feel it drip on my head) has a bookshelf of manga, at the top of which are volumes, with black and white spines, from the series "Elfy Ma'am" that are almost human height, and I wonder how I could look at one, buy one, or carry it home.

(Actually from a few days ago, but it stuck with me.)

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  • Dreams

2019-08-24 08:05

Two nights in a row of vivid dreams that linger a bit through the day. I hedge a lot on how much significance dreams have. I've had very active, memorable dreams for like half my life now (at some point in my very early twenties I noticed I was dreaming a lot and for awhile kept a journal of them), but I've never really attempted to gain anything from them. I do notice some of the repeating themes, like driving a car where the brakes stop working. Had that one again two nights again, though this time, oddly I realized after a while the breaks were working I was just looking at the RPM gauge instead of the MPH gauge on the dashboard. That's the first time that's happened, usually there's no resolution to that situation at all, just stress and worry then the dream stops (it's never about crashing into anything as far as I remember).

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2019-08-03 08:00

I had a lucid dream last night. I was in some kind of apartment and thought I had woken up, then I realized that that made no sense because I wasn't in my house. I felt this shiver through my body and then I realized I was dreaming. I started walking around the apartment. There were a lot of people in it like there was a party going on, and I figured there must be someone I know, so I was going from room to room looking at all the people. Unlike most dreams I was controlling my own actions. I didn't find anyone I recognized (then where did my brain get all these people from?). I think I decided to try dancing with a group of people who were dancing in one of the rooms. But I wanted to change one of the people who was there to be Lianne. And I could kind of get her to be there with me, but then something would go wrong and the image would get distorted.

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2019-07-30 08:14

I dreamed last night I had viney plants growing on my body, it was like I had been ignoring them or not noticed them and suddenly they were all over my arm and running down my leg. I had to pull them off, like ripping vines off the side of a wall, and there was a worm that was trying to borrow into my arm that I grabbed onto and pulled off. Not a pleasant dream to say the least.

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2019-07-25 00:00

Last night I had a dream about this journal and writing about other people. Someone was upset with me for writing about them, and I was explaining to a different person how I wasn't writing anything personal about other people and that I hadn't even decided if I was sharing any of the writing anyway.

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  • Dreams

2019-07-12 08:13

I didn't intend to write about dreams so much (though at one point years ago I kept a long running dream journal that was pretty interesting (to me)), but I keep having vivid ones that are either unusual (the nightmare the other day) or typical, like last night. I have reoccurring dream features where my vision is obscured and where my movement is difficult, walking, running. In both cases I'm really trying hard to see/walk, but I just can't seem to see or get anywhere. Last night's dream combined both in pretty rapid sequence.

I was in some kind of park walking on path with some older guy. He was a gardener or farmer or something and I think I was supposed to be there learning from him. The ground to our left was packed with tall flowers of different sorts. I was asking him about them, some of them starting out looking like vegetables but then when I looked closer their were bunches of small flowers. As we passed the flowers the path turned and there were all these people walking around in small groups. There were stalls/shops ahead of us on the path, like on a boardwalk or in the concourse of Citizens Bank park. I got distracted by a group of people approaching me looking at some girl, then when I turned to look the guy I had been walking with was ahead on the path looking back at me, but there were all these people between us. I started walking faster to try to catch up with him but people were in my way. I forgot about the guy then, and in passing this turnoff that was covered and dark but seemed to have a little stall where I thought I could get a beer and sit down (this was a lot like the ballpark concourse now), I went in and it was all men in there waiting to order, but there really weren't any seats so I decided to not get anything. At this point I was carrying something and then my vision went black and I felt something fall on top of whatever I was carrying. I struggled to get my vision to clear and then I saw the object was some kind of purse/satchel. I asked a guy sitting there next to me if he knew where it came from and he said it belonged to a guy in front of my who was on the other side of a little railing thing that demarcated the line for ordering at the stall. I was worried people would think I was trying to steal out of this guy's bag, so I quick put it down on the ground behind him and moved off. I headed out opposite from the way I came in but realized it was going to get me out of the park (I'm realizing now this dream was relying on two meanings of a park). I saw stairs going down to a subway station, but turned around to go back out. This is where I started having trouble walking. I was struggling trying to get back outside, having to grab onto the wall, all off balance and my legs like glue. At one point I was somehow on the ground and my shirt got caught on something on the floor. I think that's when I woke up.

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2019-07-09 08:05

I think I had an actual nightmare last night. I don't recall the last time that happened, but I woke up from this dream in a start and was freaked out until my brain acclimated to reality. The dream was like this weird jack and the beanstalk thing where I was me but I felt like a smaller creature/person and I was hiding from some larger person/monster in what amounted to four pretty small rooms. The person/monster was mostly in the kitchen. I was sneaking around, scared to be seen but also knowing it knew I was there. I remember at the end being in the kitchen and it had a large ax and I suddenly had some kind of weapon. When it attacked me I willed myself to not be hurt and it was like I was sort of controlling the dream retroactively by visualizing effects contrary to what I was seeing. The monster and I were fighting. I awoke.

I'm not sure I'm ready to try to analyze what that's all about. Yesterday wasn't a particularly stressful day for me. Work is often stressful lately (lately being a few years now), but I managed to accomplish what I was working on yesterday without excessive hair pulling and gnashing of teeth.

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